The many Crimes of Fred and George Weasley
by Fred and George but which one
Summary: Harry is in detention with Snape. Again. But when he finds he will be going through the many "Crimes" of the famous Weasley twins he realises that maybe it's not that bad after all...
1. An unfair Detention

"The many crimes of Fred and George Weasley"

Disclaimer: As you should know this all belongs to JK Rowling, and rightly so! I'm just having some fun!

Harry Potter walked slowly through the castle at 5'oClock, not looking forward to what was about to come. He was so annoyed, being forced to go to detention for nothing! He thought bitterly of how the slimy git Malfoy messed up his Hiccup potion, but did he get detention? No. Life was so unfair; Harry really was not looking forward to Snapes snide, sharp remarks about his performance:

"Mr Potter would do better to listen in class instead of showing off; as usual he thinks he owns talent that is completely lost on him." Harry remembered his smirk that appeared on his face after he said it, the unfairness was unbearable.

However, Snape was a teacher and so Harry had no choice but to face the impending doom of what awaited him in his dark and cold office.

When he arrived outside the door he was visibly shaking, who would want to spend their time down here? It was freezing cold, not to mention creepy. Then again it was Snape. Harry knocked three times on the office door and was greeted by a slimy, "Come in Potter"

"I'm here for the detention sir, you told me to come at five"

"Yes I am aware of that Potter. However you are five minutes late so you will make up the time with an extra ten". Harry opened his mouth to protest but remembered that it was useless, he had been through detention with Snape, it could only ever get worse.

"You will be continuing you punishment from your previous detentions, sorting through the files of the crimes of pupils and rewriting them, do you understand?"

"Yes sir" Harry said knowing what he had to do. This was the most boring and tedious work that Snape could think of assigning to Harry and he had been through it all before.

"Good. "He smirked at Harry "I had Longbottom finish the rest of your father's lengthy crimes. However, I'm sure you will recognize some of these" and with a flick of his wand five cardboard boxes came into view. Each labelled "Fred and George Weasley".

"You will finish all these boxes over the course of your detentions, _without complaint" _he hissed the last part with Harry's look of outrage. "What do you say?"

"Yes. Sir" With that Harry slowly sat down and began to prepare himself for this onslaught. Five boxes! Five? This could not be possible, Five? He knew that Fred and George had a past of pranks and jokes but honestly he had no idea at just how much mayhem they had caused! This was going to be awful, by the end of this his hand would be crippled, he began to curse those darned Weasley twins!

Harry set to work, when he began to realise that maybe this wouldn't be so awful, after he wrote "Crime 1" On top of the parchment. No, maybe it wouldn't be that bad after all, seeing as The Weasley twins were known for their tricks. Harry smiled and began to write.


	2. Crime 1

"The many Crimes of Fred and George Weasley"

Disclaimer: As you should know this all belongs to JK Rowling, and rightly so! I'm just having some fun!

Can I just say that the format that I will use to write these stories will be in the present tense, not like Harry is writing it!

Chapter 2, Crime 1

Halloween, one of the most important nights in the huge castle, time to humour the mundane muggle traditions like dressing up and eating lots of sweets. However, this was also the perfect time for our favourite, mischievous, ginger twins! Apart from the obvious April fools when was there a better time to play ridiculous tricks on people? But this year the twins wanted to do something really good.

"No more messing around George my good friend, this year will be our year."

"I couldn't agree any more Fred my old man" answered George in mock agreement, he then added with a mock serious tone, "We can't be out done with Quirrel and his Troll, now can we?".

The twins sat at a table away from the rest of the Gryffindor's huddling together discussing in hushed tones how they were going to keep their status as the best jokers since The Marauders. They would sit like this all night if they had to, there was no way that they would ever give up. This year's Halloween had to be the best, at any cost.

By one in the morning the twins had it, something they were sure no-one would forget, though they were sure most would want to.

"This is perfect" mused George "No way will anyone forget this, nope not in a million years"

"I have to agree, but it will take a lot of persuasion, and I mean a lot for _this"_ Fred frowned, it was a good plan but would it work?

"Nonsense, Fred you know they will agree to anything we say, we just need them to really want to do it" George too frowned, but Fred looked Hopeful.

"Actually, if one name was mentioned I'm sure they would love to do it…"

It was dinner time at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and Wizardry but also the time of the Weasley Twins plan. The Hall was full of eerie floating candles within pumpkins with various facial expressions, Fred swore one looked like Voldemort, but that was the least of his and his brother thoughts, it was whether or not their would plan work. But it was out their hands now, they had to sit back and relax and watch how the show would pan out.

Dumbledore stood up and began wishing the students a Happy Halloween and was about to tell a joke when Professor McGonagall coughed loudly, instead he decided it would be more prudent to announce dinner.

"This is it Fred!" whispered George in his twins ear with excitement.

"This is going to be something to remember!" he answered.

At first nothing happened, the pupils sat expectantly for the food to materialize before their eyes on the table but instead nothing changed.

Suddenly a side door to the Great Hall opened and out came many tiny House elves proudly holding dishes laden with food and wearing….

"What on earth are they wearing?"

"Is that a dress?"

"Am I seeing right? Have they got wigs on?"

Over a hundred tiny House elves walked in wearing what could only be called Drag! Each wore a dress of some sort in vivid colours, complete with wigs of varying styles. They strutted proudly around beaming and handing out the food whilst the whole school body stared. Confused. Bewildered. Horrified. Stunned.

Once they were done they all came together in a huge yet tiny mass of dresses and curls, then found their target. Harry Potter.

"We hopes you likes our costumes Harry Potter sir, Mr Wezzies told us that you wanted us to dress like this especially!" Piped up a tiny male Elf at the front. With this the entire school rang with laughter and Fred and George were the loudest!

Now, you may be wondering how this could be considered as a "Crime" but remember what happens when you give a house elf clothes? The twins got in a lot of trouble for jeopardizing the House elves of Hogwarts; thankfully they remained in Hogwarts after all they would do anything for Mr Harry Potter!


	3. Crime 2

"The many Crimes of Fred and George Weasley"

Disclaimer: As you should know this all belongs to JK Rowling, and rightly so! I'm just having some fun!

Chapter 3, Crime 2

You will not be surprised to hear that the Weasley twins did not learn from their week of detentions –Courtesy of a very displeased Professor McGonagall- after the "Drag Queen House Elves" incident. No, they were hardly started. But who would be the target of their next prank? Nobody could tell for sure…

"Malfoy"

"No. McGonagall"

"Nuh uh that won't work old Minnie just gave us a week of detentions!"

"What about Percy?"

"Nah, we still got his Badge remember? It's Pink now."

"Right then, who?"

The Weasley twins went on like this for hours debating who would be there next unsuspecting victim. Of course it wasn't long until they found _someone_.

"What about Snape? We haven't given him a visit in a long time and you know how much he loves us both!"

"Excellent, my Freddie! Snape it is! Now what to do…" George looked thoughtful, Snape being cruel, pathetic and not to mention a slimy git was definitely due in for a Weasley Twin prank! Known for always taking points away from Gryffindor and surplus to slytherin the twins would have to be careful.

In their usual spot in the Gryffindor common room they sat, everyone knew to keep well away whilst the twins plotted not wanting to be in the middle of whatever they were up to. Eventually they came up with a good trick for Snape. This involved Hair removal disguised as shampoo and some sweet talk.

"Right, you stall and I will put the Shampoo in his chambers okay?"

"Right" Fred snapped round hearing the usual billowing robes and slap of shoes on the stone floor "Hurry, he's coming. Hide!" George quickly hid behind a suit of armour in the shadows outside Snapes chambers. "Oh! Hello professor! Fancy meeting you here!"

"Mr Weasley you are outside my Chambers, even without your other halfwit of a brother, I'm sure you could tell it is no surprise to see me, now get out of my way." Snape glared at the Weasley twin, being unable to call him by his name was agitating enough without talking to one half of the notorious twins. Fred beamed up at him, undeterred by his constant death stare.

"Actually sir I wanted to speak to you, I felt it would be incredibly important if not imperative for you to acknowledge this particular knowledge that I hold to tell you right now, right here tonight in this Castle in this exact spot…" As Fred dribbled on, George sneaked easily into Snapes chambers which wards had been unlocked with Snape being so close. "… in fact this information is so important that I feel not telling you would be a tragedy, no an unspeakable disaster! In fact I can hardly bear the idea of you being unaware of this crucial, vital information held in my ginger topped mind…"

"Mr Weasley, I do not have time for your moronic, not now or ever now get out of my way! Now or you will get detention along with your brother!" Snape hissed glowering at the twin. Fred spied out of his eye his brother slipping out of Snapes Chambers.

"Actually sir, it's okay! You continue with your day, I think this information can wait!" And with that Fred grinned and walked happily away whilst Snape billowed angrily into his Chambers. George appeared out the shadow and caught up with his brother.

"I got it in, put it in his bathroom! He doesn't have any shampoos that he is using so I put it at the front! He's gotta use it, his hair is dripping!"

"Nicely done! I swear this is going to be brilliant!"

The twins went to bed happily that night falling asleep with dreams full of bald Snape wearing mismatched wigs.

However, Snape is not known for his well-groomed, flowing locks of hair, though the Twins were well aware of this they were sure that Snape would need to wash it soon. Unfortunately, that morning Professor Burbage form Muggle studies, was asking round for some Shampoo to demonstrate Muggle hairdressers to her first years. It was ironic that she went to Snape first.

"Ah, Severus! I'm so glad I found you!" burbled Charity smiling cheerily at Snape.

"What is it Charity?" Answered Snape with forced politeness; she was a bothersome woman indeed!

"Well, I have a class of first years and we are doing different jobs in the muggle world and I had planned to do a lesson on Hairdressing. It really is fascinating, they cut it with scissors, then wash it and then…"

"Yes, yes I get the point, though I cannot see why you came to me to tell me about this Charity" Charity Beamed up at him.

"Well you see I don't have any shampoo! Can you believe it! No shampoo to demonstrate my lesson! Normally I just use a cleaning charm but that's not very Muggle like now is it?" Snape rolled his eyes, typical he thought for Charity to be so taken by Muggles.

"I will see what I can do." With that Snape left.

By Lunch the twins expected a bald Snape and had been proclaiming it to the rest of the school for everyone to be present at lunch.

Snape walked in. Black, greasy haired as usual. However, a couple minutes later a group of shuffling first years slinked as well as a blushing Charity Burbage with erm, what could only be described as slap heads! I'm sure you can imagine the rest!

Snape caught on to whom was responsible but the twins could not care less, those slytherin first years shiny bald heads was enough said!


	4. Crime 3

"The many Crimes of Fred and George Weasley"

Disclaimer: As you should know this all belongs to JK Rowling, and rightly so! I'm just having some fun!

AN: Right guys, I have been really good to you, updating every day! I mean come on most update every week or so, but don't expect this to last long! Because I have got hardly any reviews, so if you want more, you better review because I have seen my hits and KNOW YOU ARE READING! Thanks though, cause at least you read it! Anyway enjoy your day!

Chapter 4, Crime 3

"Fred…Fred, FRED!"

"What?" grumbled a still exhausted Fred whom had just woken up from a dream that consisted of The Chudley Cannons coming first in the league. It most definitely had been a dream if not a good one. "George… it's five in the morning, not funny mate…" Fred's eyes began to slowly shut when his brother shoved him out his bed.

"Wakey, wakey sleeping beauty!" Fred- now fully aware- glared up at his identical twin with a grimace, his bright ginger hair ruffled. "Fred, stop pouting, we need to get up, it's time!"

"What?" His brother rolled his eyes; Fred was rather slow in the mornings.

"Said What would be time for our next plan and it has to happen now so come on!" George quickly scanned the room to make sure the other inhabitants were unaware to the twins plot.

"Right, okay… I'm coming, I'm awake!" Fred cast a look at his brother and grinned "Though I can't say the same for you!" George glanced down.

"Whaa!" He sported a trouser covering one leg and his head was through the sleeve of his Weasley sweater. "Whoops!"

After twenty minutes of sorting clothes the twins crept down the dormitory stairs and into the common room. Grinning at each other they crept past the Fat lady, who had been given a mysterious package of some prime alcohol and sat hiccupping in her frame, blissfully unaware of the twin's departure.

As the two Weasley's crept silently through the castle they were glad of their Marauders Map, being able to avoid Flitch was pretty important.

Coming just outside a picture of a fruit bowl Fred gestured to a pear within the canvas "Will you have the honours?" and George stretched out a hand…

Monday morning at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry, groggily the students came into the Great Hall ready for a hearty breakfast before Monday morning blues caught up with them. Once everyone, including the professors was present the food materialized before their eyes. Today was cereal and hundreds of packets sat waiting to be opened. Nobody noticed the Weasley twins smile at each other as everyone reached for a packet.

"What the he…."

"Oh my god!"

"Nooooo! It's gone everywhere!"

Every single packet in the Great Hall spilled out form open bottom flaps onto their owners laps, shoes, arms and hair, everyone that of course except the Weasley twins who sat happily with bowls full to the brim with cereal and gleeful smiles on their faces.

The two boys were given a week of detention from Professor McGonagall because after all, every single packet of cereal was wasted!

By the way, I actually did this to my siblings the other day! I would really recommend this especially on a Monday when they are really tired it's a good laugh!


End file.
